No. I’m not dead, yet. I’m just dreaming. And ang mabigat dito, conscious ako na nananaginip lang ako. And with the looks of it, passing the same path when I got the chance to have a glimpse of what hell really looked like, I am bit excited than afraid. Yes, before this seem to be trip to heaven, I already made a trip to hell. I pass this path also, so it’s quite familiar. I reached the end of the line and face the old man with a long beard of shining white color. It was awesome. What makes it splendid is the fact that I was not conscious then, I really thought that I died in some freak accident or simply died in my sleep. But that’s another story and been posted here in my blog. Just dig it.
Along with a long queue of souls (or whatever is left when one dies), I was dumbfounded of the multitude of people dying every single day. Now, like me, walking in one line going to that bright light, with walls of steel in immeasurable heights. I kept myself busy by gazing the emotions and expressions of these souls. I couldn’t help but grinned. I saw hundreds, no millions of troubled souls. Teary eyed. Yes, when you get there, it is still possible to cry. Along with other feelings too. Believe me, I’ve been there. I grinned because I knew why they acted as such, or felt as such. They know they will be going to hell. And that’s foreseeable. If they only knew what lies in hell…
With just ten souls in front, I could clearly see the old guy. In few more minutes I will be facing him again. While getting closer and closer, I set my eyes in any direction but his.
“Your name?”
“Tolits…”
“Cause of dea…” he looked at me for seem eternity and with puckered brow. “Hmm. You’re seem familiar. Dumaan ka na dito natatandaan ko. Bakit ka nandito ulit?”
“Hindi ko po alam bossing…”
Just as he was about to say something, nag ring ang cellphone nya. He picked it up and listen to the other line. Tango lang sya ng tango. Opo, meron na ring cellphone dun. High tech na din sila kasabay ng pagtanda ng mundo.
“Hmmm. Bisita ka pala ngayon Lits. Pambihirang karanasan to para sayo. Ginawa kang bisita kase, by accident eh napunta ka sa impyerno nun. Eh di ka pa pala patay. Manual pa kase ang recording sa book of life noon. At dahil sa pagkakamaling yun, nag setup na ng database networking dito sa afterlife para maiwasan ang mga pagkakamali.”
“Sa hell po ba ako ulit mapunta? Bossing?”
“Ows, kunwari ka pa. Pinuntahan ka ni Angel Gabriel para sabihin sayo kung bakit ka guest of honor sa langit diba? Meaning sa langit hindi sa impyerno. Tanga.”
“Bakit nga po pala? bossing?”
And there it was. This guy narrated for a whole day the reason why I was called to be the guest of honor in heaven. And this was at the expense of millions, no trillions of souls waiting in line for the grand interview. Congested na nga dahil sa kinausap pa ako ng gate keeper. Sabi nya, kailangang maibalik ang balance. Kung anong balance ang pinagsasabi n’ya, hindi ko na alam.
“You have experienced a life in hell, though by accident, it’s an experience nonetheless. Kaya dapat maranasan mo din kung ano ang buhay sa heaven. As what I am saying… to restore the balance.”
Nung bata pa ako. I imagined heaven as a place of endless joy. Parang hindi uso dun ang malungkot. At wala sa dictionary ng mga lifeform dun and salitang boredom, pagkabagot, galit, at mura. Lahat ng papasok sa heaven, bibigyan ng bagong katawan. Kung gaano kabusilak ang puso mo noong nasa earth ka pa, ganun din ka ganda ( I termed it seductive wala din kase ang word na ‘to sa dictionary sa heaven) ang magiging katawan mo dun. Tapos, madaming tao. Lahat mababait, lahat nakangiti. They greet each other with hugs and kisses. Every single hour. What a life.
Before I entered the gates of heaven, I looked around. Walang ka tao tao. Wala man lang akong kasunod. Samantalang sa di kalayuan, sa gates of hell, ang daming nakapila! Well, dumaan na din ako dun before. I pushed the gate and bright light is vibrantly showing the whole place. I cover my eyes for the moment adjusting the brightness condition of the place called heaven. Ang gaganda ng mga bahay, sparking gold! Ganda ng mga garden. Habang ang inaapakan eh clouds. Ang bango pa sa langit. Maaliwalas. Masarap ang simoy ng hangin, nakakagaan ng feeling. Kay hitik sa mga bunga ang ibat-ibang klase ng namumungang puno. Napaka solemn. Napakatahimik. Walang tao.
Nag ikot ikot ako. I’m thinking, maybe I arrived during a prayer moment where all of the inhabitants are perhaps praying, worshipping in some church or something. Syempre heaven, may mga prayer time talaga yan. Well, just what I thought. But hours passed by wala pa rin akong makitang tao. I crossed a breathtaking hanging bridge. There I saw, what I thought could be an angel. Ang ganda. Ang puti. Ang kinis ng balat, ang amo ng mukha. With long straight hair. Babae. In white 100% pure cotton dress.
“Angel?”
She heard me. Lumingon sya. Huminto sa pamumulot ng nalalaglag na mga mababangong bulaklak. Lumapit sa akin. Ngumiti. Oh god, ngumiti sya sa akin.
“Paano mo nalaman name ko?”
“You mean your name is angel? Pero di ka anghel?”
“Yup. I’m angel. Resident ako dito mga 3 years na.”
She explained to me everything I want to know about heaven. Crash course Heaven 101. Dahil daw sa higpit ng pamantayan sa heaven. Bibihira talaga ang makapasok dito. You must be free of sin to enter heaven. At ayaw daw talagang mag-compromise ang bigboss. Kaya instead na masaya sa heaven, malungkot na yung ambiance. At dahil daw sa bibihira ang makakapasok dito, ayun at siya na tagalinis ng buong heaven. Pati daw pinagkakainan ng mga angels sya na din ang naghuhugas. Ang tuwa nga nya daw at for 3 years niyang stay dito eh ngayon pa lang siya nakakita ng lalakeng Earthling. At kahit di naman ako papasa bilang sex symbol, bah, gwapo ako sa paningin nya. That’s one of the perks of nothing to compare.
We talked as if there’s no tomorrow. She smiled at me. I smiled back. She hug me. And kiss me sa cheeks. I almost forgot, ganun pala ang batian dito sa heaven. At dahil bisita lang naman ako dito, iba yung pakiramdam ko sa hug nya. At sa kiss nya. Ang ganda naman kase. Nasa dictionary kaya dito sa heaven yung word na libog? Before I could think of something nasty, trumpets are blowing, announcing that my visit is finally over. I held her hand for the last time. Pressed it a bit. Sending electronic impulse to her brain that given the short span of time we were with each other, I felt heavenly. I thought I saw loneliness drawn in her angelic face when I bade goodbye.
“When you decided you had enough in your complicated world lits, will you be with me here in heaven?”
“I dunno angel… life is uncertain.”
The gates are opened, and angel accompanied me to it. bade goodbye. I wonder how lonely she could be in heaven. I just made a tour in heaven. Saw its wonder. Talk to an angel. But apart from that, I saw the loneliness, the serenity, the beauty that lost its essence if you have no one to share it with. I smiled. It’s nothing close to hell.
(author’s note: meron din akong entry about my trip to hell… hahalungkatin ko muna.)
